🥊Five lines entered → one survived

The rules I'm using to create our new homepage.

Day 183/100

 

Hey—It's Tim. 

I’m deep in homepage redesigns for Penfriend.

Sketches, swears, screenshots.

And I keep bumping into one rule that saves me from clever-but-wrong copy:

Write where it’ll live

If you’re writing a hero line for a page, write it on the page.

Don’t noodle in Notes.
Don’t polish in Docs.

Put the words into the actual layout and make them fight the pixels for space.

The design and the copy are one thing.
Say it with me: the design and the copy are one thing.

When you do that, your lines stop being ideas and start being interfaces. Line breaks become choices. Contrast becomes meaning. Rhythm becomes affordance.

The mockup is a lie detector

I had a line I loved: “Write the internet’s favorite articles.”
Big claim.
Feels fun.
It died on the homepage.

Why?

Because it centers us, not you. And in my designs it read like a challenge, not a promise. The visual weight said “look at our vibe,” while you’re scanning for “what does this do for me?”

So, we try again.

If you know me, I draw up everything by hand first. EVERYTHING,

  • “talk once, rank forever”
    Punchy… but false. Also “talk” is wrong for Penfriend—Penny is a conversation, not a monologue. And “forever” trips the BS wire.

  • “Turn talk into traffic”
    Nearer the truth, still limp in the hero. Reads like a content mill.

  • Current front-runner: “Your expertise, published on page one.”
    Two-part jab I like: input → outcome.

    It centers you (your expertise), connects to the action (published), and names the outcome (page one) we actually ship for customers. In the mock, it balances with the CTA and doesn’t collapse at mobile widths.

I’ll keep testing it. But this is the work. Not hunting for the cleverest sentence in isolation. Dropping candidates into the container where they must live—and letting the container tell you if they breathe.

A quick way to find your line

Use this in Figma/Framer/Webflow—whatever you’re using:

  1. Write five lines into the real hero (same font, size, weight, line-length).

  2. Test at three widths: 360px, 768px, 1280px. Watch where the break happens.

  3. Swap background variants (busy image vs. flat color). Your keeper should survive both.

  4. Read it out loud to the rhythm of your CTA. If the CTA feels redundant, you’re close.

  5. Truth pass: Could a picky customer call you out? If yes, rewrite to a provable outcome.

Micro-checks I use:

  • You-focused? (starts with “you/your” or implies it)

  • Specific outcome? (rank, convert, publish, ship, book)

  • Ownable mechanism? (editor, workflow, brief, Penny)

  • Legible when broken awkwardly? (two lines still scan clean)

  • No puff adverbs? (never, always, forever, effortlessly… nah)

Pulling apart my own work

“Write the internet’s favourite articles.”
Poetic, but vague and self-referential. Doesn’t promise me anything. Good as a subhead for a blog campaign, not a hero.

“talk once, rank forever.”
Fun cadence. Fails the truth test and sets the wrong behavior (we want ongoing convos with Penny). Park it for a cheeky ad, not the homepage.

“Turn talk into traffic.”
Mechanism + outcome, but reads generic. Also “traffic” is a weak currency in 2025; “revenue” or “pipeline” would be stronger - but only if provable.

“Your expertise, published on page one.”
Best of the bunch. Two-part structure, outcome stated, my role clear. Keep refining the second clause if legal asks you to soften “page one” → “built to rank on page one.” (You can put the proof below with logos/metrics.)

That’s where I’m at. If you’ve got a spicier two-part jab that stays true in the mock, hit me. If you steal this process, send me your before/after—happy to roast it (with love).

See you tomorrow.

✌️ Tim "Crop It Like It’s Hot" Hanson
CMO @Penfriend.ai

Same brain, different platforms: X, Threads, LinkedIn.

P.S. The easiest way to test this right now on your own site?
Right click on your current heading ➡️ Inspect
You’ll see the heading in the code. Double click and change the text.
Hit enter.
You’ll see it on the page.

 

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Made by content marketers. Used by better ones.
 

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